Loss of a pet

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The loss of a pet can be a sad event filled
                                              with feelings of grief and loss.

Below are some thoughts and advice that may help:.

Sunlight streams through the window pane onto a spot on the floor…..
      Then I remember, it’s where you used to lie, but now you are no more.
Our feet walk down a hall of carpet, and muted echoes sound…
        Then I remember, it’s where your paws would once joyously abound.
A voice is heard along the road, and up beyond the hill…
Then I remember it can’t be yours, your golden voice is still.
But I’ll take that vacant spot of floor and empty muted hall,
      And lay them with the absent voice and unused dish beside the wall.
I’ll wrap these treasured memories in a blanket of my love.
And keep them for my “four” pawed friend until we meet above.





There are five stages to grieving, describing loss.
These are slightly varied, and are named below in those stages.
Some times people do not experience them in any particular order:

Denial
Is usually the first stage without a doubt?,
it can also include shock and disbelief.

Anger
Usually starts with the question “Why?”, “Why my pet?” or “why now?”
sometimes blame is placed on the vet, and often ones self.

Guilt
Usually happens when we begin to second guess our actions.
In the event of a sudden death such as an accident,
we often ask ourselves “What if?” “What if I had or had
not done something else?”
This is a difficult stage it is important to remember that you did your best and it’s certain that the love you gave your pet during it’s
life is much more important to remember now.

Depression
This includes overwhelming sadness and grief for your loss.
You realise your loss and mourn it. You may feel totally immersed
some days and others it will seem less only to return with great intensity. Crying at times “out of the blue” is to be expected
and you may feel you may not be happy again.

Acceptance
Eventually, you will be able to think about your pet without such pain,
smile and remember all the wonderful times, and know you had
a wonderful life together then your mood will stabilize
and you will begin to heal.



Children and surviving pets can also experience these stages
Children
Children sometimes grieve for a pet differently to adults,
 mostly because they do not  fully understand the situation.
They will need to be comforted,
 as well as to give comfort to others around them.
Its best to include children in the loss of the pet as it’s a part of
natural life and is something they may experience
 more than once in their lifetime.
Protecting them or putting off the truth may intensify their confusion so
listen gently to a child’s questions and answer them truthfully.
Very young children may be satisfied with “Fluffy is in heaven”
but older children may need more details.

Surviving pets
Unless your pet was with its friend at the time,
it can be difficult for a surviving pet, they may not appear
to be affected.  This does not mean that they are
happy their friend has gone, for some pets their grief seems
obvious, like going to a door or window or searching  the house
Their appetite may decrease and they may lose interest in
activities. While it is difficult to see your pet unhappy do
not encourage this behaviour by over comforting them,
as could make things worse
Allow them their own space and reward only healthy
behaviours and keep the pets routine stable.
Patience will most often be the best medicine
however if you have any concerns, it’s best to contact your vet,
Especially if you’re pet is not eating.



Memorialising your pet can be a very helpful and positive thing to do. There are a number of different ways you can do this:

We invite you to “Light a Candle” on our website (under the Latest News bar), where you can add a tribute memory and a photo.
This is a caring way to remember your pet, and may help you as well.

Bury your pet in the garden wrapped in his/her favourite blanket and mark the site with some form of headstone

Your pet can be cremated and you can keep his
casket perhaps along with a photo.
You could plant his casket under a plant/tree or in a planter
which can be moved if you wish.
 Or you could scatter his ashes in a special outdoor place.


The Pet Crematorium is in Norfolk.
It is located at Felthorpe, between Norwich and Holt
and sits in 3.5 acres of landscaped gardens, with a lake
 at the bottom of the grounds. It is fully licensed and you are always welcome to visit the gardens of remembrance all year round,
which are open 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday.
And if you wish you may telephone The Crematorium manager,
 or his colleagues on 01603 755438.

There is further information about the individual cremation service in the Our Services part of the website and a link to The Ralph Site in the Other Information section you may find useful.